Ain't No Party Like A Pakistan Party

Well it's that time again. Time to recount the great and wonderful events of the last week and a half for all you beautiful viewers at home. The most important thing I think is to tell you all the mustache has gone the way of the dodo (come to think of it I think it ended up looking more like a marmot or something but that is beside the point). That's right the caterpillar turned into a lovely butterfly and flew away. To be honest (because normally I'm lying to you all - just kidding) I had planned on wearing it through the month of March, but I was just sick of it. Oh, and the other guys that were growing mustaches gave up last week so I won by default. Unfortunately we didn't have any money on the line; just pride (which can be pretty cheap). I doubt it looked anywhere near as nice as Commander McBragg's here, but towards the end I kept thinking of him telling of his adventures on the hunt in India or something and I always got a chuckle.

The other big event was Saturday the 21st there were a couple parties on the diplomatic enclave. Our own American Club had an '80s party and the Canadian Club had a St. Patrick's Day Party. I went to both (trying to make up for the ones I have missed) and I have to say the American Club does not know how to party. At least not if this one was indicative of all their events. There were only about 30 people or so with '80s music blaring and a few folks who were trying a bit too hard to relive their 20s. It's too bad that photography is not permitted on the compound because words just can't describe the event. Think back to Sixteen Candles or The Breakfast Club and you will have an idea of the costumes that came out and worst of all the dancing (if you can call it that) that was attempted. Now don't get me wrong, I do not dislike the '80s. Probably half my iPod has '80s music. In fact I have a great time at an '80s party back in Pensacola with the gaggle their. It's just that some people were trying too hard or more likely weren't having to try at all.

"Anyone for tennis?" A blast from the past. '80s party 2004 with Dan "The Man"

Now in contrast the St. Patrick's Day Party at the Canadian Club was great. They had a live band that was playing great Irish music (real stuff and all the funny songs about Irishmen getting drunk). People were dancing and they actually looked like they knew what they were doing. The only drawback was the bar did not have Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, which I am sure most of you know is my adult beverage of choice. They did, however, have XXXX beer which is not Irish (it's Australian) but it does come from a country where they talk funny and drink a lot so I figured it was close enough.

The last celebration was a little mutiny we through for our Admiral's Birthday. The funniest part was a skit where one of the guys acting as the Admiral and myself (as one of the Captains here) go to visit a member of the Pakistan Military. The funniest part is the other Navy Programs guy is originally from Pakistan and can still turn on the accent. When he came in and sat down to start the skit half the audience including the Ambassador and some of the guys in the office were wondering who this guy was. The whole thing had the group rolling. I just wish I had it on video. Not just because Raja and Al were hamming it up so much, but because it was also pretty close to right and I think you all would get a kick out of what it is like to talk with these guys about military needs and long term planning and so on. Here is a picture of the players. The others in the picture are the real Admiral and the Captain I was playing.

The camera had a double flash for red-eye reduction so the guy on the end thought the picture was taken and closed his eyes.

On a completely different note, some of you long time viewers may recall my trip to Bahrain back in January and the ordeal that has been trying to get the pictures I took there developed. With the help of my friend Katie L. I finally got the pictures and here they are.

The view out my window at the hotel.

The Center for Islamic Studies.

The Al Fateh Mosque.

Modern art (a fish I think).

Modern architecture. The towers in the distance have their own power generating windmills.

I'm sure that some of you are watching the news over here and cringing at some of the stories. I keep think of the old bumper sticker that reads "Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket". That could be the State of the Union address for Pakistan right now. I only hope that the Pakistan Government finally wakes up and sees the groups that are doing these things as the true threat instead of insisting on focusing on India and other conspiracy theories. But until then please be assured that I am being as careful and vigilant as I possibly can be. I am also keeping my head down and my butt covered. I have every intention of coming back in the same or better shape than when I came here. So until next, if you can't be good, be good at it.

Lockdown

Greetings and salutations. As some of you may have noticed on the nightly news the political situation here in Pakistan has been rather volatile over the last couple weeks. Well if you want to get nit picky it has been rather volatile ever since its inception in 1946 with many an up and down cycle. But the last couple weeks have been the most charged since President Zudari took office about a year ago. As far as I can tell the problem is that there are only a few families that tend to run things here and because of that they have been competing against each other since the country was founded (oh and they all seem to be crooks – a lot like Oklahoma).

The latest problem starts with the last ruler President Musharif (who was the Army Chief of Staff and took over in a coupe of Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif [remember this name]). In an attempt to maintain his power President Musharif fired the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court which lead to a great deal of popular up roar which eventually lead to Musharif stepping down. So who to take over? The Pakistanis actually had an election where candidate Benizer Bhutto (a former Prime Minister who had been fired due to allegations of corruption) was killed in a terrorist explosion. Who do you elect after the #1 candidate has been assassinated? That’s right her husband (who had served time in jail for corruption and has been nicknamed “Mr. 10%” for his embezzling).

One of Zudari’s campaign promises was that he would reinstate the Chief Justice who got fired, but after being in office for a year he still hadn’t done so, it is believed, because that Justice might re-open the corruption charges against him. The next stellar move is while the head of the military and the Prime Minister are out of the country, the Supreme Court (with a pro Zudari Chief Justice) excludes Nawaz Sharif (here is that name again) and his brother (who was the Chief Minister for the province of Punjab) from holding political office because of their past corruption charges. The Sharif brothers then threw their political weight behind the Lawyer’s Movement, who had been screaming for the reinstatement of the Chief Justice. The Lawyer’s Movement have been coordinating this Long March that was supposed to start in Lahore and Qweta and end up in Islamabad (where your friendly local arms dealer – me) lives. In an attempt to keep the Long March for gathering steam Zudari placed a lot of people under house arrest preemptively and basically shut down the city Sunday afternoon (this kind of tactic always works right?).

The major concern was that if the protest did get into the city and/or violence erupted (which was a very good possibility) the Army might have to step in to restore order and once that happened, they would probably just kick out Zudari for being stupid in letting it all get to that point. And what do we call it when the military kicks out the president? That’s right, a coupe, which we as a government tend to frown on.

The good news is Zudari flinched first in this game of political chicken and said he would restore the Chief Justice so Sharif basically turned off the Long March and the whole thing fizzled out. The other good news is since the whole country was about to implode, the embassy was shut down and we all got the last couple days off. Granted we were in lockdown mode and restricted to our houses, but I got to sleep in late on Sunday and did a lot of reading for the Joint Professional Military Education class I am taking.

The bad news is that because of this stupid power playing I had to miss the St. Patrick’s Day party that was going on at the British High Commission (they don’t have an embassy, they have a high commission because Pakistan used to be a colony or something like that). So far since I have been here I have missed two parties at the High Commission and two parties at the Marine House (where the Marine Security Guard lives). Granted I missed some of it because I was in the States which is infinitely better, but still. I am hoping nothing else goes wonky and I can make it to the Canadian Embassy for their St. Patrick’s Day celebration next weekend.

There was another celebration since the last time we talked. Most of you probably may not have known it but last Thursday was the Profit Mohammed’s birthday. We didn’t set up a tree or anything like that but the city was strung up with lights. Here are a couple of the pictures. Since it was at night and I was shooting form a distance they might be a bit blurry, but I had to stop by the side of the street to take the pictures and due to the force protection issues here I did not want to take too long to get the shots. I think you can get the point.

The Prime Minister's Secretariate.

The Supreme Court building.

Looking down Constitution Ave.

The only other thing to report is that I have grown what some might call a mustache (others might call it a caterpillar or some other derogatory name). I started it on the 1st of March and I think it has grown in nicely. I’m not saying it looks good, only that it is rather full. The reason behind this, like most facial hair growing experiments, is that there really isn’t much else to do so some of us decided to have a contest. These are the kinds of things we in the military do on deployment to pass the time. Don’t worry friends, I doubt that the ‘stache is going to make it beyond March. We will have to see what kind of reception it gets at the Canadian Club.

A shot of me, my mustache and the C-12.

A close up shot. Don't fear the 'stache.

Well like I said before all the shenanigans have fizzled out so it is back to work for me tomorrow. Thank you all for your e-mails and other comments (except the one making fun of my mustache). I hope your days have and continue to be calmer than the Pakistani political scene. Until next time, be good. And if you can’t be good, be good at it.

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Hello all and welcome back. It’s been an interesting couple weeks since my last post. When we last left our intrepid traveler he was awaiting the plane that was going to whisk him away to the land of milk and honey that is Oxnard, Ca. The flight over wasn’t too exciting. Unfortunately since I had just flown Qatar Airlines the week before all the movies were the same so I spent most of the flight reading and trying to sleep.

I commented last time about how great the service on the flights was and how great the seats were since they fold completely flat, and while they were all that I still arrived in Washington DC completely jet lagged. Add to that the 5 hour layover in DC, and I was an absolute mess on the flight to LAX. I remember sitting down in my seat, some dude squawking on the PA, some acceleration and a sudden thump as we touched down in LA, but that is about it. It took me about 45 minutes to get my luggage and rental car. After the hour drive from LAX to Naval Base Ventura County at Port Hueneme it was about 3:30 in the morning on Sunday before I got to bed. All told that was about 26 hours of total travel. You should really try it sometime. Good times. Lots of fun.

Sunday around noon I met the program manager and the Pakistan Navy delegation in the hotel lobby, and for what you might ask; to conduct a driving tour of LA. That’s right; they wanted to drive around LA on the Sunday of the Academy Awards. So we got to spend all day driving down the Pacific Coast Highway and Sunset Boulevard. Actually it was quite pretty; a good day for a drive. The bad part was I was hoping to get together with a friend, Martha J. and do some dinner. That was kind of how the whole week went. I had to play baby sitter for the Pakistan delegation and never had a night to visit friends in the area. It was rather annoying and disappointing.

That’s not to say the whole week was a mess though. I did get to go to Universal Studios during the trip. The Program Manager put in a “culture day” where we took the delegation to see something that is American and let them sample our culture. Personally, I think it’s just an excuse for her to go site seeing, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth (as an aside, isn’t this expression from the Trojan Horse story, and wouldn’t the Trojans have been better off if they had taken a look inside? I’m just saying).

Universal was a lot of fun though I would have preferred some actual roller coasters. Pretty much all the rides are motion simulators which are fun, but you just can’t properly simulate pulling 3 G’s in a loop and 80 mph worth of wind in your hair. It just isn’t the same. I like the real thing when it comes to amusement parks. Presented now for your enjoyment are a few pictures from the day.

Me at Universal Studios.

He he he... Monkey butt.
That is a big guitar.

The Jurassic Jungle.

Donkey from Shrek. He's funny, but he can be an ass sometimes.

Say hello to my little friend.

Dude, can't you see I'm working over here.

After the Program Review was over on Friday I rolled down to San Diego for a couple days. It was nice to see all the old gang. I hope you all had fun; and for those of you I didn’t get to see, hopefully we can get together next time. Here is a picture from Friday Night.

The San Diego knuckleheads.

The biggest problem with coming down to San Diego was that my flight on Sunday back to Pakistan was out of LAX. This wasn’t really a big deal because it didn’t leave until 10:40 in the morning. The plan was to get up around 6, get on the road about 6:30 and drive back to LA which should take about two hours. With turning in my rental car I figured I would get to the airport about 8:45 which should give me plenty of time to get through the lines at the airport and make my flight with plenty of time. The problem with plans though is, as the book says, they “often go awry.” It is with this in mind then that I will tell you the tale of my trip back to Pakistan.

It started a little after 6. I had just woken up and was trying to get motivated to get in the shower when my cell phone started ringing. It was the nice folks at United who were calling to tell me that my 10:40 flight had been cancelled but they were able to book me on the 9:40 flight if I could get to the airport in time. I figured I could do it, but I had lost pretty much all of my buffer in the process. So I decided to forgo the shower, threw everything I had in my bags and took off for LA. As I was approaching Camp Pendleton traffic can to a stop and I was think oh no because the road to LA can turn into a parking lot sometimes with folks going back after the weekend. Fortunately for me (though not for someone else) there was just an auto accident and I was soon past it. I think I set a land speed record getting back to LA from that point on and thanks to GPS I made it to the rental car agency without getting lost. From there it was off to the airport. As the shuttle bus took us around the airport to the different terminals there were a couple that had security line completely out the door, so I was sweating all the way up to pulling in front of my terminal. Luckily the line was not that bad and I managed to get my boarding pass and make it through security in time. The flight from LA was fine with the exception that I think the lady sitting next to me had a cold and passed it on to me.

After a 5 hour layover in Washington DC where I got to use the Virgin Atlantic Airlines lounge (the first one I had been to in the States; pretty nice) we finally board the plane. Some of you may recall what the weather was like in Washington DC on Sunday March 2nd. For those of you who do not, let me tell you is was snowing like no bodies business. We ended up having to wait one and a half hours for the crews to come with the deice gear and another half hour for them to deice the aircraft. Add to that the slowest taxi evolution I have ever seen and you get our takeoff happening about two and a half hours late. I tried to sleep through most of the flight, but the cold I was catching made that difficult. We finally land in Doha, Qatar about 20 minutes before we are supposed to board my next flight to Islamabad. The whole ride on the bus to the terminal, I was again sweating (and not because of the fever). I ended up walking into the terminal, going through security, going straight to the ticket counter and getting right on the next flight. I barely had a chance to go to the bathroom. The good news is that I did at least make my flight. The funny thing is after chasing the clock all day and barely making it to my flights, the flight to Islamabad actually arrived 30 minutes early. This would have been good except I had to wait for my ride to get there. The one time I didn’t really want to be early was the one time I was.

Ultimately I did finally make even though I arrived with a cold. I am feeling a bit better though. Hopefully I will be better in a couple more days. Aside from that I am just trying to get settled back in to the job. I had over 2oo e-mails waiting for me when I got back and I am only now getting myself dug out from underneath them.

Well that should be enough for this installment. I do not have any trips for a bit so things should calm down some and hopefully settle into a groove. Until next time, remember if you can’t be good, be good at it.