Ich Bin Ein Berliner (Yes, I Am A Jelly Doughnut)

Guten tag meine Damen und Herren. When last we spoke it was the beginning of the month which happens to be the month of my birth. The reason why that is important is that as a designated Naval Aviator my annual flight physical has to be completed by the end of the month. The way most of the folks stationed over here get their flight physicals done is while they are on a trip somewhere that has a military hospital with a flight surgeon. My original plan when I first got here was to do mine while I was back in the States for a Security Assistance Working Group (SAWG) meeting that, back in January, was supposed to happen in May. But as the months went by and May got closer the SAWG which had been pushed back several time already got pushed back again and I was no longer going to be going anywhere in May. Since I have to get the physical I am authorized to take a trip just to get it done. I spoke to the Air Force guys here who have been in this situation before and they gave me all the gouge (which is Navy speak for insider information) on how to get the physical scheduled. It seems that they get their physicals done at Ramstein Air Base in Germany and never having been to Europe I was all for this plan.
The setting up of the appointment was simple enough and the next step in the process as it was explained to me was to call “Patient Movement” who would coordinate the travel and write the orders for me to go. When I gave them a call they said that since I’m Navy they couldn't do anything for me. The problem is who pays for the trip? In the Air Force, there is an accounting fund for this kind of thing, but the Navy being the cheap bastards that we are does not and instead the parent organization has to spend its own Temporary Duty money to send me which is something I was going to have a hard time selling since theoretically I could have gone to Bahrain to get it done. After much ranting and raving and going round and round in circles I finally found the right folks who had the authority to pay for the trip. Even better was my boss signed off on me leaving on Friday the 15th and coming back on the 22nd with my only appointment on the 18th.

This trip however, was not going to be without its issues. The first problem hit no sooner that the wheels of the airplane were sucked into the plane. I’m sitting in my seat fat, dumb and happy thinking about the journey and what I have to do and what I’m going to do when it hits me; I forgot my medical and dental records at the embassy. I’m going on a good deal trip to get a physical and I don’t have my records. Not one of my better moves. Also when you factor in the time changes and the trip length I have only the time that I’m on deck for a stopover in Kuwait to get this fixed. Fortunately I got a hold of one of the guys here and after some e-mail issues I authorize him to pick up my records and I talked to the medical guys and they said all I really need is my immunization records so my buddy Todd scaned and e-mailed that out to me.
The next issue was to get to Ramstein you fly into Frankfurt and drive there. If I was in the Air Force they would have paid for it, but again being the cheap Navy I had to get it. Not really a problem since I’m getting a free trip to Germany I didn’t mind spending some money. The issue was that being my birth month it also happened that my driver’s license expired on my birthday. So I’m trying to rent a car in a foreign country with an expired license. Fortunately I showed them my military ID and convinced them that since I’m stationed out of the US I don’t have to have a valid license and they let me have the car.

The first stop in Germany was actually Stuttgart (thank God for GPS). My friend Tracy who is stationed in Oberammergau was going to be in town for a bike race and my other friends Skid and Kendra are stationed in Stuttgart. So Tracy and I went out painted the town red on Friday night and toured the city on Saturday and we all got together for dinner on Saturday. The following photos are presented for your enjoyment but first you should remember that I can't read German so I had no way of figuring out what some of these things actually are.

Stuttgart is the home of both Mercedes and Porshe. This is the clock tower at the train station.

The park in front of a castle of some sort.

Some dude on a horse.

Stuttgart's cathedral.

The coolest sight while touring the city was from the top of the cathedral bell tower (above) which was build around 1500. It is open only for a few days each year but we were lucky enough for this to be one of those days. The trip to the top was somewhat unnerving as you had to scale a stone spiral staircase which tended to give me vertigo and then several flights of wooden stairs that you just weren’t sure you should trust. All total there were 140 steps to the top but the view was worth it.

Panaramic view from the top.

One strange experience I had during the trip was just walking around the city. First I have to explain that while Islamabad is not the safest place it is not that bad. There definitely are not people trying to kill me on a daily basis like some my fellow warriors in other parts of the world. That being said though we do exercise a heightened sense of alertness when we are out and about. So I found myself during the first few hours in Stuttgart evaluating other people for possible threats. It actually took me a conscious effort to make myself relax. It definitely gave me a better understanding and appreciation for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (not that I’m claiming I have it). If I feel like this after Pakistan I can imagine what those coming from Iraq and Afghanistan where people really are trying to kill them on a daily basis can feel.

Another strange experience was the feeling of getting intoxicated on two beers. I know I have lost a great deal of my tolerance but that was not right. Granted they were half litters and they were German beers but still. One of the tasks that I was given by my boss when she signed my orders was that I had to drink 5 liters of beer for her. I think I did that and then some but I was only following orders.

As you might expect from the land that created beer and who still has one of the oldest laws on record that says what is allowed to go beer, they have some very fine versions of the beverage. In that area of the country the big types are pils (pilsner), hefeweizen, and dunkl weizen which is a darker version of a hef. Normally I don’t really like dark beers, but this was nice because it cut down on the citrusy after taste some. I tried to sample as many beers as I could, including Dinkle Acker, San Wald, Schöfferhofer, König Ludwig, Grimbergen, Die Brauerei Zum Park, Binding and Krombacher.

I was also introduced to one of the local delicacies, doner kebab which very similar to a gyro or shawarma. Basically it is some kind of meat product (from what I saw either chicken or gyro meat) that is stuck on a spit, cooked, shaved into a pita or bun, covered in vegetation and some sort of sauce and served up for a few euros. It's not really haute cuisine, but at three in the morning after a night on the town it's right up there with pizza by the slice, 5 rolled tacos with cheese or Whataburger.

On Sunday I went up to Ramstein to get checked in and find out where everything was located on base. This was not however until after I managed to scrape the right rear fender and door of my rental car getting out of the parking garage. That’s going to cost me some money.
Ramstein is a much sleepier town than Stuttgart, but still nice. Even without my full medical records I was able to get my physical done, though the dental hygienist chastised me some for not bringing them. Tracy’s girlfriend Karen, who is a Navy nurse, is stationed in near-by Landstuhl showed me around some and took me out for dinner and drinks. Here is a bit of the Ramstein/Landstuhl area.

They like their churches in Germany.

A WWI monument I think.

Old and New. A ruined fort with a modern building behind.

Quality German food. Meat and potatoes with beer to drink. I could get used to this.

Wednesday I drove back to Frankfurt so I wouldn’t have to rush to make my flight on Thursday. I had a nice stroll around that city. Actually I saw more of it than I had planned as I managed to take a wrong turn got kind of lost. Fortunately I was able to back track and get back to the center of town. Here are some pictures of Frankfurt.

The Old Opera House.

I figured if he was important enough for someone to make a statue of him I should take a picture.

Some classic German architecture.

One of the bridges over the River Main which flows through Frankfurt.

Frankfurt is one of the banking centers of Germany. And people think Americans idolize money.

One of the tasks I do as part of my job is called End Use Monitoring. What this entails is, specifically for the Harpoon Block II missiles that the US has sold Pakistan, is that I have to go visually check every missile by serial number and make sure that Pakistan hasn’t sold them on the black market or, more likely, given one to China so they can rip it apart and figure out how it works. So no sooner had I returned from Germany then I had to go down to Karachi to count missiles.

Karachi is the largest city in Pakistan and used to be the capital. It is located on the coast and is the major sea port and thus where the Pakistan Navy has most of its bases. Being on the coast also means it is substantially muggier than Islamabad and thus also has a lot more mosquitoes. The first two nights I was there I stayed at the Pakistan Navy Missile Complex where I did all the counting. The third day, after the monitoring was done, I relocated to the Marriot downtown, which is right next to the Consulate so it would be easier to get transportation around the city if needed (all the transportation in Karachi has to be coordinated by the Consulate; you can’t just hop into a taxi). You would think between the two locations, the Missile Complex and the Marriot, that the hotel would be better. The thing was that the mosquitoes at the Missile Complex were bigger, slower and dumber and only bit me a couple times; the one or two that got into my room at the Marriot though we like ninjas. I could only catch flashes of them and they beat the crap out of me. It’s definitely time to go invest in some insect repellant. I definitely need to get some before I go back down there next week for more missile counting.

Well that is about all the fun that has happened in the last couple weeks. As I expected this month flew by. It’s kind of hard to believe it’s almost June. I have now been in country five whole months; only 7 or so more to go. I hope everyone is doing well back home and I look forward to any and all comments or e-mails. If I get any trips heading back towards any of you I will let you know. Mom congratulations on your retirement. I hope you and Dad enjoy the time off you both deserve. Kaleigh congratulation on graduating high school, enjoy the summer and best of luck as you start college. For everyone take care of yourselves and drop me a line when you get a chance. Most of all be good, and if you can’t be good, be good at it.