Monday, June 22, 2009

Happy Father's Day

Hello everybody and welcome back. Once again I am the worst son in the world for not sending anything to my dad or my brother who is a dad or any of my friends who are dads or to my brother who doesn't have any kids but has a dog so that kind of makes him a dad or to any of my single male friends because they could have a kid that they don't know about and thus could be dads and not be aware of it. I kind of got on a rant there, but while I should have done something from my father since I was blessed enough to have one that I think did a pretty good job raising me, I never quite understood why these holidays always seemed to incorporate people that weren't our dad. Maybe it's just me (in fact that is probably a very good bet).

It doesn't really seem like three weeks since I last posted, but the calendar doesn't lie. Looking back it's kind of hard to figure out exactly what I've been doing during the intermediate period. In some ways that's good because three weeks have gone by and I am thus three weeks close to coming home. It's kind of scary as well in that I kind of like being able to remember what is going on. Basically though I am in the area of a deployment we call "Groundhog Day" after the Bill Murry movie where he relives the same day over and over. So it is with deployment life. Some of the guys here are doing the math and figuring out how long they have been here and how long they have left. One guy who leaves in September is doing a countdown to departure. I'm not saying I'm not going to do that, I just don't want to do it right now. I have too long to go left and I just prefer to keep my head down and keep putting one foot in front of the other. My goal in this job is a lot like when I go for a run. Unlike some I do not like to run and I just try to distract myself until the finish line sneaks up on me.

The biggest thing that I did since the last post was to visit Karachi again. As you may recall from my last post, on occasion I have to go verify that Harpoon missiles we sold them haven't grown feet and wondered off somewhere. Another aspect of the job is that when new items arrive we have to go do a joint inventory of the items to make sure they arrived in good shape and none "fell of the ship" as it where. It was under this capacity that I undertook my last trip to the coastal city.

This trip was planned to be only a couple nights. Since I managed to count a lot of missiles in only a couple days on my first trip I figure it would only take one to check the few that were coming in this time. It was for this reason I decided to forgo staying at the Pakistan Navy Missile Complex and just stayed at the Marriott; besides the bed is more comfortable at the Marriott. I had not, however, forgotten the lesson I learned last time down and I brought along a can of "Off". It is some great stuff and thanks to it I was able to get through my stay without getting bitten. That's not to say it was a wonderful journey.

The problem is that while it may be a major hotel we are still kind of prisoners there. They keep us in rooms that are up and back from the street to minimize our exposure should someone do something stupid and we can't go out to eat in the city. There is a branch of the American Club about a block away on the other side of a park which in any other country would probably be a nice stroll, but here you have to contact the Consulate to drive you over in an armored car. There is a couple restaurants in the hotel, but two of them are basically right in the lobby which we aren't supposed to hang out in. The last is a Chinese restaurant which is not bad but not great either. Being in a Muslim country they still do not have pork dumplings or anything like that. In fact most of the stuff they have is fish. You'd think since the chicken is acceptable you could get some good sweet and sour chicken but not so much. I ate there the first night but just wasn't feeling like eating there two nights in a row. Also, I had set up my flight the next morning to depart at 7 am which meant I had to leave the hotel by 5 am which meant I had to wake up at 4 am if I wanted to get myself together (yes I know I take a long time to get showered and dressed in the morning, so sue me). Given this timeline I decided I would just get room service and get to bed early.

I was looking through the menu and nothing jumped out at me. I had gotten the fish and chip the trip before and was not very impressed. I figured I would just get something basic and settled on a good old fashioned hamburger. However, when I starting eating it there was just something wrong. It had a strange texture and didn't taste quite right. I retrospect bells should have been going off in my head and I should have sent it back, but considering the quality of the fish and chips I had the last time and that this is the "land of not quite right" I powered through. This would prove to be a great tactical blunder. By 1am I was sure something was not right and I should have just purged it from my system then, but I again battled on. By 4:30 am I'm getting done with my shower and there is just no denying it any longer and it comes up on its own accord. I now feel like I have just been run over by one of the jingle trucks I have mentioned before. In fact I feel like the driver of the truck backed up and made sure he finished the job. Now don't forget I have to check out of the hotel in 30 minutes and get on a plane for a 2 hour flight back to Islamabad.

When I go to check out I tell them that my meal was bad and they ask me why I didn't tell someone. I looked at the guy and said that's kind of what I was doing now. At this point all I want to to is sit in the back of the car close my eyes and think happy thoughts. My arms feel like they are made of lead and I'm starting to get the sweats. But of course there is an issue with my credit card because I am trying to use the one the government issued me like I'm supposed to. Normally I just put it on my personal card and be done with it, but for some reason I tried to do it the right way rather than the way I knew would work. So after giving the dude my personal card to fix the issue I was finally able to get out of there. I slept the whole flight back and instead of going to work which was my intention I just went home and went to bed; that is in between trips to the bathroom. Fortunately I was over it by the next morning, but it sucked pretty good during the day I had it.

So to make a long story short (all together now, "Too late!") I have been to Karachi twice and got eaten alive by mosquitoes one time and gotten food poisoning the other. Let's just say right now I am not a big fan of Karachi. Another lesson I have learned is do not take the 7 am flight. Do the 9 am one and sleep to a reasonable time. It's not like I've made it back to the office before noon either times anyway.

The other kind of neat thing I accomplished was finally making it to one of the parties at the Marine House. Like all embassies, we have a Marine Security Guard Detachment here. They live on the embassy grounds and have a lounge/bar area in their barracks. The bar is called "Crowley Tavern" named in honor of Sgt Crowley who was killed when the embassy was over run back in 1979 (during the same time frame as the Iranian embassy crisis {if you don't want to read about how the embassy was over run back then do not click this link}). They have had a couple parties since I have been here, but something always came up. Either I was out of town, going out of town or had some other work issue that kept me from attending. This time however, I finally got to go. It's a neat little bar; actually it's not so little having three rooms, a dance floor, a Foosball table and a pool table. Honestly it wouldn't be much to write home about, but the Marine House is always an icon and it's just nice to get together with folks you know and some you don't and pretend you are back in the real world relaxing.

So it is with that pleasant thought of relaxing with friends that I will leave you. I realize this may not be my best post but an artist is only as good as his muse, or something like that. As always please feel free to post a comment or send an e-mail. Your feed back is always enjoyed. Have fun where ever you are and be good. If you can't be good then be good at it.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ich Bin Ein Berliner (Yes, I Am A Jelly Doughnut)

Guten tag meine Damen und Herren. When last we spoke it was the beginning of the month which happens to be the month of my birth. The reason why that is important is that as a designated Naval Aviator my annual flight physical has to be completed by the end of the month. The way most of the folks stationed over here get their flight physicals done is while they are on a trip somewhere that has a military hospital with a flight surgeon. My original plan when I first got here was to do mine while I was back in the States for a Security Assistance Working Group (SAWG) meeting that, back in January, was supposed to happen in May. But as the months went by and May got closer the SAWG which had been pushed back several time already got pushed back again and I was no longer going to be going anywhere in May. Since I have to get the physical I am authorized to take a trip just to get it done. I spoke to the Air Force guys here who have been in this situation before and they gave me all the gouge (which is Navy speak for insider information) on how to get the physical scheduled. It seems that they get their physicals done at Ramstein Air Base in Germany and never having been to Europe I was all for this plan.
The setting up of the appointment was simple enough and the next step in the process as it was explained to me was to call “Patient Movement” who would coordinate the travel and write the orders for me to go. When I gave them a call they said that since I’m Navy they couldn't do anything for me. The problem is who pays for the trip? In the Air Force, there is an accounting fund for this kind of thing, but the Navy being the cheap bastards that we are does not and instead the parent organization has to spend its own Temporary Duty money to send me which is something I was going to have a hard time selling since theoretically I could have gone to Bahrain to get it done. After much ranting and raving and going round and round in circles I finally found the right folks who had the authority to pay for the trip. Even better was my boss signed off on me leaving on Friday the 15th and coming back on the 22nd with my only appointment on the 18th.

This trip however, was not going to be without its issues. The first problem hit no sooner that the wheels of the airplane were sucked into the plane. I’m sitting in my seat fat, dumb and happy thinking about the journey and what I have to do and what I’m going to do when it hits me; I forgot my medical and dental records at the embassy. I’m going on a good deal trip to get a physical and I don’t have my records. Not one of my better moves. Also when you factor in the time changes and the trip length I have only the time that I’m on deck for a stopover in Kuwait to get this fixed. Fortunately I got a hold of one of the guys here and after some e-mail issues I authorize him to pick up my records and I talked to the medical guys and they said all I really need is my immunization records so my buddy Todd scaned and e-mailed that out to me.
The next issue was to get to Ramstein you fly into Frankfurt and drive there. If I was in the Air Force they would have paid for it, but again being the cheap Navy I had to get it. Not really a problem since I’m getting a free trip to Germany I didn’t mind spending some money. The issue was that being my birth month it also happened that my driver’s license expired on my birthday. So I’m trying to rent a car in a foreign country with an expired license. Fortunately I showed them my military ID and convinced them that since I’m stationed out of the US I don’t have to have a valid license and they let me have the car.

The first stop in Germany was actually Stuttgart (thank God for GPS). My friend Tracy who is stationed in Oberammergau was going to be in town for a bike race and my other friends Skid and Kendra are stationed in Stuttgart. So Tracy and I went out painted the town red on Friday night and toured the city on Saturday and we all got together for dinner on Saturday. The following photos are presented for your enjoyment but first you should remember that I can't read German so I had no way of figuring out what some of these things actually are.
Stuttgart is the home of both Mercedes and Porshe. This is the clock tower at the train station.

The park in front of a castle of some sort.

Some dude on a horse.

Stuttgart's cathedral.
The coolest sight while touring the city was from the top of the cathedral bell tower (above) which was build around 1500. It is open only for a few days each year but we were lucky enough for this to be one of those days. The trip to the top was somewhat unnerving as you had to scale a stone spiral staircase which tended to give me vertigo and then several flights of wooden stairs that you just weren’t sure you should trust. All total there were 140 steps to the top but the view was worth it.

Panaramic view from the top.
One strange experience I had during the trip was just walking around the city. First I have to explain that while Islamabad is not the safest place it is not that bad. There definitely are not people trying to kill me on a daily basis like some my fellow warriors in other parts of the world. That being said though we do exercise a heightened sense of alertness when we are out and about. So I found myself during the first few hours in Stuttgart evaluating other people for possible threats. It actually took me a conscious effort to make myself relax. It definitely gave me a better understanding and appreciation for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (not that I’m claiming I have it). If I feel like this after Pakistan I can imagine what those coming from Iraq and Afghanistan where people really are trying to kill them on a daily basis can feel.

Another strange experience was the feeling of getting intoxicated on two beers. I know I have lost a great deal of my tolerance but that was not right. Granted they were half litters and they were German beers but still. One of the tasks that I was given by my boss when she signed my orders was that I had to drink 5 liters of beer for her. I think I did that and then some but I was only following orders.

As you might expect from the land that created beer and who still has one of the oldest laws on record that says what is allowed to go beer, they have some very fine versions of the beverage. In that area of the country the big types are pils (pilsner), hefeweizen, and dunkl weizen which is a darker version of a hef. Normally I don’t really like dark beers, but this was nice because it cut down on the citrusy after taste some. I tried to sample as many beers as I could, including Dinkle Acker, San Wald, Schöfferhofer, König Ludwig, Grimbergen, Die Brauerei Zum Park, Binding and Krombacher.

I was also introduced to one of the local delicacies, doner kebab which very similar to a gyro or shawarma. Basically it is some kind of meat product (from what I saw either chicken or gyro meat) that is stuck on a spit, cooked, shaved into a pita or bun, covered in vegetation and some sort of sauce and served up for a few euros. It's not really haute cuisine, but at three in the morning after a night on the town it's right up there with pizza by the slice, 5 rolled tacos with cheese or Whataburger.

On Sunday I went up to Ramstein to get checked in and find out where everything was located on base. This was not however until after I managed to scrape the right rear fender and door of my rental car getting out of the parking garage. That’s going to cost me some money.
Ramstein is a much sleepier town than Stuttgart, but still nice. Even without my full medical records I was able to get my physical done, though the dental hygienist chastised me some for not bringing them. Tracy’s girlfriend Karen, who is a Navy nurse, is stationed in near-by Landstuhl showed me around some and took me out for dinner and drinks. Here is a bit of the Ramstein/Landstuhl area.


They like their churches in Germany.



A WWI monument I think.



Old and New. A ruined fort with a modern building behind.


Quality German food. Meat and potatoes with beer to drink. I could get used to this.

Wednesday I drove back to Frankfurt so I wouldn’t have to rush to make my flight on Thursday. I had a nice stroll around that city. Actually I saw more of it than I had planned as I managed to take a wrong turn got kind of lost. Fortunately I was able to back track and get back to the center of town. Here are some pictures of Frankfurt.

The Old Opera House.

I figured if he was important enough for someone to make a statue of him I should take a picture.


Some classic German architecture.


One of the bridges over the River Main which flows through Frankfurt.



Frankfurt is one of the banking centers of Germany. And people think Americans idolize money.

One of the tasks I do as part of my job is called End Use Monitoring. What this entails is, specifically for the Harpoon Block II missiles that the US has sold Pakistan, is that I have to go visually check every missile by serial number and make sure that Pakistan hasn’t sold them on the black market or, more likely, given one to China so they can rip it apart and figure out how it works. So no sooner had I returned from Germany then I had to go down to Karachi to count missiles.

Karachi is the largest city in Pakistan and used to be the capital. It is located on the coast and is the major sea port and thus where the Pakistan Navy has most of its bases. Being on the coast also means it is substantially muggier than Islamabad and thus also has a lot more mosquitoes. The first two nights I was there I stayed at the Pakistan Navy Missile Complex where I did all the counting. The third day, after the monitoring was done, I relocated to the Marriot downtown, which is right next to the Consulate so it would be easier to get transportation around the city if needed (all the transportation in Karachi has to be coordinated by the Consulate; you can’t just hop into a taxi). You would think between the two locations, the Missile Complex and the Marriot, that the hotel would be better. The thing was that the mosquitoes at the Missile Complex were bigger, slower and dumber and only bit me a couple times; the one or two that got into my room at the Marriot though we like ninjas. I could only catch flashes of them and they beat the crap out of me. It’s definitely time to go invest in some insect repellant. I definitely need to get some before I go back down there next week for more missile counting.

Well that is about all the fun that has happened in the last couple weeks. As I expected this month flew by. It’s kind of hard to believe it’s almost June. I have now been in country five whole months; only 7 or so more to go. I hope everyone is doing well back home and I look forward to any and all comments or e-mails. If I get any trips heading back towards any of you I will let you know. Mom congratulations on your retirement. I hope you and Dad enjoy the time off you both deserve. Kaleigh congratulation on graduating high school, enjoy the summer and best of luck as you start college. For everyone take care of yourselves and drop me a line when you get a chance. Most of all be good, and if you can’t be good, be good at it.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother’s Day. Normally I am the world’s worst son and do not do anything for these types of holidays, so I will make up for it by telling you all about the great and wonderful things going on on this side of the globe. I know it’s been a couple weeks since my last post, but it has been a little busy the past week or so and not really the “bad” kind of busy; just busy. I know that Pakistan has been in the news a lot of late. I would like to take this opportunity right up front to say that things are not as bad as Fox News and CNN may be projecting it. That’s not to say there aren’t issues here or that the security situation is such that I am going for jogs around town (not that I would be even if it was safe). There are a lot of problems particularly in the FATA and NWFP and Islamabad is rather close to the NWFP. However, the raging Hottentots are not about to spill over the Margala Hills and wipe the city off the face of the earth. Actually the Pakistan Army has started a new offensive in that area and hopefully they will actually stick it out. The good news is I actually have some things to talk about this time.

To start with I have been doing a bit more flying of late. Most of it has been just currency flights making sure we keep our qualifications up but those can be interesting as well. For example last Sunday I was flying with the Air Force Programs guy down at Lahore doing instrument approaches. We did our requisite two takeoff and landings (we have to do two takeoffs and landings every month; not every thirty days but every calender month - for the other pilots, yeah I know) and were headed back to Islamabad when we got a call on the satellite phone in the C-12 (yes we have a sat-phone primarily so if we are flying the Ambassador or Admiral and they need to talk to someone they can). This call though was for us. It was one of the other pilots back in Islamabad telling us there was a nasty thunderstorm/squall line sitting right on top of the airport. There were heavy rain, lightning and 50 mph winds. After looking at our fuel situation and the weather radar for a bit we exercised the “better part of valor” and rolled back to Lahore to gas up and let the storm blow over. After being on deck for about two hours we headed back and landed with no problems, but for a bit we thought we might be spending the night in Lahore.
For those of you that have or do fly for a living you know that getting stuck for weather is pretty much a part of the job description. I can’t think of a single pilot that hasn’t spent at least one night in a place he wasn’t planning to because the weather or aircraft didn’t cooperate. Sometimes these unexpected overnighters can actually be kind of fun, but I wasn’t really looking forward a potential night in Lahore. Fortunately it all worked out.

In addition to my flight to Lahore I got one to Bagram, Afghanistan this week as well. Bagram is close to Kabul which I have been to before and the flight is only about an hour or so. The cool part of visiting these places is that they have exchanges and US food spots. Kabul is NATO I think so it is a bi different, but Bagram is very much like being on a US base though it’s pretty small. There is however a Pizza Hut, Burger King, and Orange Julius among others. It was just nice to get American fast food again. Like I said it’s nice to visit, but I wouldn’t want to be stationed there. There wasn’t much to take pictures of at the base but I did take some new ones of the aircraft and while in the air. The following are presented for your viewing pleasure.



The Mighty C-12.




Looking out my window.

The Roof Of The World.

Your intrepid pilot.

If the guys in back really knew about who was flying they probably wouldn't be asleep.

I mentioned last time about the Jingle Trucks, but I was not happy with the pictures I had to properly illustrate what I was talking about. I therefore present the following examples of the art that is the Jingle Truck.


Sorry for the picture through the dirty window.


This is going down one of the major highways with two guys hanging on the back.


Another nice jingle taxi, but please notice there are four people on the motorcycle in front: the dad, a kid in front of him, the mom and her holding the baby (the record so far is five).

I know most of you have not been to Islamabad (though I think one or two of you may have) but one of the first things you notice when you come into the city from the airport is a giant memorial to Muhammad Ali Jinnah who, as I think I have mentioned, is considered the Father of Pakistan. I’ve been trying to get a good picture since I’ve been here and I finally have achieved that goal. As you can see it is a portrait of Jinnah with the motto of Pakistan “Unity, Faith Discipline” in English going one way and Urdu the other. I know it is probably very disrespectful but every time I see it I just think “It’s the Big Jinnah Head”. It is lit up at night so the next time I go down that road at night I will try to get a picture of that too.

The Big Jinnah Head: The Urdu side.


The Big Jinnah Head: The English side.

You may recall in one of my previous posts I mentioned a couple of Embassy events that got canceled. The American Club finally decided that the situation had cleared enough and went ahead and had their “Spring Fling”. Having already purchased our tickets before the delay and still not having anything better to do on a Saturday night the Marine Lieutenant Colonel in the office and I decided to grace the event with our presence. The evening was supposed to start with a social hour at 6 followed by dinner at 7 and general frivolity after that. So not wishing to miss any of the party we rolled in a bit after 6 only to find we and three others were the only ones there. I had heard that these things didn’t really get started until kind of late, but it was surprising that there was practically no one there for the first hour and a half of the event. Finally around 7:30 to 8 o’clock people started to filter in. I didn’t take many pictures but here is what I do have.

I can clean up kind of nice sometimes.

The two best looking guys in the place. Granted at the time we were pretty much the only two guys in the room, but that's beside the point.

It was somewhat under attended, I think due to the postponement, but I did have a nice conversation with the South Korean and Japanese Defense Attachés who I think were trying to pump me for information (which is the job of an attaché). I think I was sufficiently vague and non-committal and managed to get out of the conversation with my security clearance intact. I also, met a couple diplomats from the other Embassies. In particular I met a couple from the Canadian Embassy. They have invited me and the LTCOL over to the Canadian Club, which I wrote about before, for happy hour. Unfortunately it didn’t work out this week but hopefully it will next week. Everything I hear is the Canadian Club is much more social than the American Club and any opportunity to break up the routine is nice. I will let you know how it goes.

Finally before I say so long I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful birthday greetings this past week. It is really nice when you aren’t home with your family and friends to know that they are still thinking of you. I’m only sorry I will not be able to get back for Mom’s retirement and my niece Kaleigh’s graduation. Please understand I would be there if I could.

Well that is about all for now. Please feel free to send an e-mail or comment on this post and let me know what you think. Have fun in the Western Hemisphere and as always, if you can’t be good, be good at it.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Running For My Life

Hey everybody; welcome back. Before we get going too far I should mention that know one has been trying to kill me in the last two weeks (at least not specifically me). The title refers to run that the Heath Unit at the embassy set up today. They called it "The Run For Life". For me it felt more like I was going to die than felling alive. The event had a 3K, 5K, and 10K. I went for the 5K. I figured I couldn't do the 3K and have any respect for myself later but I knew better than to try the 10K. As Dirty Harry said, "A man has to know his limitations" and I know mine. As an aside congratulations to my niece Lauren who ran a 10K in about 52 minutes; well done. I'm not going to say what my time was but if you related to 10K (and assumed I kept the same pace which there is no way that would happen) Lauren would have made me look bad. Perhaps I should try training for the next one. But at least I did it and I can say I go the t-shirt.

Besides the run there has not been too much going on in lovely Pakistan. There were actually a couple embassy parties, one at the American Club and one at the Brit Club, but they have been postponed. I think they just don't want me to go see the Brit Club. Some of the folks here don't want to go to these events, but I figure it's not I have anything better to do on a Saturday night. Hopefully the events will get rescheduled and I will report on them in the future.
Without other social events I have been working on my JPME and I watched a few movies. I went to one of the local markets a few weeks ago and bought Wanted, Underworld 3 and Watchmen. Of course since Watchmen is still in theaters you can probably guess these are not sanctioned copies. The fact that I bought them each for 70 rupees (about $0.90) would probably be another good clue to how authentic they are. I stuck Underworld 3 in and it didn't play at all. Watchmen was better in that it played. I got all the way through the opening credits and the first scene the character Rorschach walks into a room where there has obviously been a crime and then everyone starts speaking German. Wanted worked and the actors spoke English, but all the writing in opening prelude and on all the computer screens in the movie were in Cyrillic. I guess they got that one from Russia or something. One thing you have to keep in mind when you watch bootleg videos is you get what you pay for.

Changing gears, we all know that a lot of terrorist organizations use narcotics trafficking to help fund their operations. A lot of work has been done in Afghanistan to stop the farming of poppies for opium. A good measure of the work that goes on in my office with the Pakistan Navy is centered on counternarcotics and interdicting smuggling. The reason I mention this is that I find it very amusing that marijuana grows wild all over the city including in the diplomatic enclave. There is actually a flower bed on the embassy grounds that has a pot and poppy plant growing within a foot of each other. And when I say it grows wild I mean along side the roads like a weed one might say. And we aren't talking little scrub like plants. There are some at the 7-8 foot size. Just in case you don't believe me take a look at this.
Me and the Captain wading through the pot. This is going in our next counternarcotics powerpoint brief.

A close up of a smaller plant just in case you don't believe me.

The people at the embassy who are supposed to know say that it is all really low grade and you would have to smoke an entire field's worth to get anything, but it makes you wonder if they are just saying that. All I know is if the city ever catches on fire the population could be feeling really relaxed.

I have commented pretty much since I came here that the people here drive like maniacs. I'm sure that you may be sick of hearing, so I decided to show you. The clip below was taken during my morning commute.


One thing you see as you drive around here are what are called "jingle trucks". The folks paint their delivery trucks and taxi trucks very elaborately. I have been told that the paint job is to get your attention, like advertising, and the images and text on the trucks are good luck charms. Considering what you just saw I think you can understand while they think they need luck on their side when driving.

The back of a Jingle Truck.


I know I have been kind of all over the place with this post, but like I mentioned there really hasn't been too much going on. Politics here would only make me mad if I talked about them so I'll stick what fun things I can come up with and this is pretty much it for now. So until next time, please feel free to shoot me an e-mail or post a comment here. And most of all be good. If you can't be good, be good at it.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Ain't No Party Like A Pakistan Party

Well it's that time again. Time to recount the great and wonderful events of the last week and a half for all you beautiful viewers at home. The most important thing I think is to tell you all the mustache has gone the way of the dodo (come to think of it I think it ended up looking more like a marmot or something but that is beside the point). That's right the caterpillar turned into a lovely butterfly and flew away. To be honest (because normally I'm lying to you all - just kidding) I had planned on wearing it through the month of March, but I was just sick of it. Oh, and the other guys that were growing mustaches gave up last week so I won by default. Unfortunately we didn't have any money on the line; just pride (which can be pretty cheap). I doubt it looked anywhere near as nice as Commander McBragg's here, but towards the end I kept thinking of him telling of his adventures on the hunt in India or something and I always got a chuckle.

The other big event was Saturday the 21st there were a couple parties on the diplomatic enclave. Our own American Club had an '80s party and the Canadian Club had a St. Patrick's Day Party. I went to both (trying to make up for the ones I have missed) and I have to say the American Club does not know how to party. At least not if this one was indicative of all their events. There were only about 30 people or so with '80s music blaring and a few folks who were trying a bit too hard to relive their 20s. It's too bad that photography is not permitted on the compound because words just can't describe the event. Think back to Sixteen Candles or The Breakfast Club and you will have an idea of the costumes that came out and worst of all the dancing (if you can call it that) that was attempted. Now don't get me wrong, I do not dislike the '80s. Probably half my iPod has '80s music. In fact I have a great time at an '80s party back in Pensacola with the gaggle their. It's just that some people were trying too hard or more likely weren't having to try at all.

"Anyone for tennis?" A blast from the past. '80s party 2004 with Dan "The Man"

Now in contrast the St. Patrick's Day Party at the Canadian Club was great. They had a live band that was playing great Irish music (real stuff and all the funny songs about Irishmen getting drunk). People were dancing and they actually looked like they knew what they were doing. The only drawback was the bar did not have Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, which I am sure most of you know is my adult beverage of choice. They did, however, have XXXX beer which is not Irish (it's Australian) but it does come from a country where they talk funny and drink a lot so I figured it was close enough.

The last celebration was a little mutiny we through for our Admiral's Birthday. The funniest part was a skit where one of the guys acting as the Admiral and myself (as one of the Captains here) go to visit a member of the Pakistan Military. The funniest part is the other Navy Programs guy is originally from Pakistan and can still turn on the accent. When he came in and sat down to start the skit half the audience including the Ambassador and some of the guys in the office were wondering who this guy was. The whole thing had the group rolling. I just wish I had it on video. Not just because Raja and Al were hamming it up so much, but because it was also pretty close to right and I think you all would get a kick out of what it is like to talk with these guys about military needs and long term planning and so on. Here is a picture of the players. The others in the picture are the real Admiral and the Captain I was playing.

The camera had a double flash for red-eye reduction so the guy on the end thought the picture was taken and closed his eyes.

On a completely different note, some of you long time viewers may recall my trip to Bahrain back in January and the ordeal that has been trying to get the pictures I took there developed. With the help of my friend Katie L. I finally got the pictures and here they are.

The view out my window at the hotel.

The Center for Islamic Studies.

The Al Fateh Mosque.

Modern art (a fish I think).

Modern architecture. The towers in the distance have their own power generating windmills.

I'm sure that some of you are watching the news over here and cringing at some of the stories. I keep think of the old bumper sticker that reads "Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket". That could be the State of the Union address for Pakistan right now. I only hope that the Pakistan Government finally wakes up and sees the groups that are doing these things as the true threat instead of insisting on focusing on India and other conspiracy theories. But until then please be assured that I am being as careful and vigilant as I possibly can be. I am also keeping my head down and my butt covered. I have every intention of coming back in the same or better shape than when I came here. So until next, if you can't be good, be good at it.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Lockdown

Greetings and salutations. As some of you may have noticed on the nightly news the political situation here in Pakistan has been rather volatile over the last couple weeks. Well if you want to get nit picky it has been rather volatile ever since its inception in 1946 with many an up and down cycle. But the last couple weeks have been the most charged since President Zudari took office about a year ago. As far as I can tell the problem is that there are only a few families that tend to run things here and because of that they have been competing against each other since the country was founded (oh and they all seem to be crooks – a lot like Oklahoma).

The latest problem starts with the last ruler President Musharif (who was the Army Chief of Staff and took over in a coupe of Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif [remember this name]). In an attempt to maintain his power President Musharif fired the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court which lead to a great deal of popular up roar which eventually lead to Musharif stepping down. So who to take over? The Pakistanis actually had an election where candidate Benizer Bhutto (a former Prime Minister who had been fired due to allegations of corruption) was killed in a terrorist explosion. Who do you elect after the #1 candidate has been assassinated? That’s right her husband (who had served time in jail for corruption and has been nicknamed “Mr. 10%” for his embezzling).

One of Zudari’s campaign promises was that he would reinstate the Chief Justice who got fired, but after being in office for a year he still hadn’t done so, it is believed, because that Justice might re-open the corruption charges against him. The next stellar move is while the head of the military and the Prime Minister are out of the country, the Supreme Court (with a pro Zudari Chief Justice) excludes Nawaz Sharif (here is that name again) and his brother (who was the Chief Minister for the province of Punjab) from holding political office because of their past corruption charges. The Sharif brothers then threw their political weight behind the Lawyer’s Movement, who had been screaming for the reinstatement of the Chief Justice. The Lawyer’s Movement have been coordinating this Long March that was supposed to start in Lahore and Qweta and end up in Islamabad (where your friendly local arms dealer – me) lives. In an attempt to keep the Long March for gathering steam Zudari placed a lot of people under house arrest preemptively and basically shut down the city Sunday afternoon (this kind of tactic always works right?).

The major concern was that if the protest did get into the city and/or violence erupted (which was a very good possibility) the Army might have to step in to restore order and once that happened, they would probably just kick out Zudari for being stupid in letting it all get to that point. And what do we call it when the military kicks out the president? That’s right, a coupe, which we as a government tend to frown on.

The good news is Zudari flinched first in this game of political chicken and said he would restore the Chief Justice so Sharif basically turned off the Long March and the whole thing fizzled out. The other good news is since the whole country was about to implode, the embassy was shut down and we all got the last couple days off. Granted we were in lockdown mode and restricted to our houses, but I got to sleep in late on Sunday and did a lot of reading for the Joint Professional Military Education class I am taking.

The bad news is that because of this stupid power playing I had to miss the St. Patrick’s Day party that was going on at the British High Commission (they don’t have an embassy, they have a high commission because Pakistan used to be a colony or something like that). So far since I have been here I have missed two parties at the High Commission and two parties at the Marine House (where the Marine Security Guard lives). Granted I missed some of it because I was in the States which is infinitely better, but still. I am hoping nothing else goes wonky and I can make it to the Canadian Embassy for their St. Patrick’s Day celebration next weekend.

There was another celebration since the last time we talked. Most of you probably may not have known it but last Thursday was the Profit Mohammed’s birthday. We didn’t set up a tree or anything like that but the city was strung up with lights. Here are a couple of the pictures. Since it was at night and I was shooting form a distance they might be a bit blurry, but I had to stop by the side of the street to take the pictures and due to the force protection issues here I did not want to take too long to get the shots. I think you can get the point.
The Prime Minister's Secretariate.
The Supreme Court building.
Looking down Constitution Ave.

The only other thing to report is that I have grown what some might call a mustache (others might call it a caterpillar or some other derogatory name). I started it on the 1st of March and I think it has grown in nicely. I’m not saying it looks good, only that it is rather full. The reason behind this, like most facial hair growing experiments, is that there really isn’t much else to do so some of us decided to have a contest. These are the kinds of things we in the military do on deployment to pass the time. Don’t worry friends, I doubt that the ‘stache is going to make it beyond March. We will have to see what kind of reception it gets at the Canadian Club.

A shot of me, my mustache and the C-12.

A close up shot. Don't fear the 'stache.

Well like I said before all the shenanigans have fizzled out so it is back to work for me tomorrow. Thank you all for your e-mails and other comments (except the one making fun of my mustache). I hope your days have and continue to be calmer than the Pakistani political scene. Until next time, be good. And if you can’t be good, be good at it.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Your Tax Dollars At Work

Hello all and welcome back. It’s been an interesting couple weeks since my last post. When we last left our intrepid traveler he was awaiting the plane that was going to whisk him away to the land of milk and honey that is Oxnard, Ca. The flight over wasn’t too exciting. Unfortunately since I had just flown Qatar Airlines the week before all the movies were the same so I spent most of the flight reading and trying to sleep.

I commented last time about how great the service on the flights was and how great the seats were since they fold completely flat, and while they were all that I still arrived in Washington DC completely jet lagged. Add to that the 5 hour layover in DC, and I was an absolute mess on the flight to LAX. I remember sitting down in my seat, some dude squawking on the PA, some acceleration and a sudden thump as we touched down in LA, but that is about it. It took me about 45 minutes to get my luggage and rental car. After the hour drive from LAX to Naval Base Ventura County at Port Hueneme it was about 3:30 in the morning on Sunday before I got to bed. All told that was about 26 hours of total travel. You should really try it sometime. Good times. Lots of fun.

Sunday around noon I met the program manager and the Pakistan Navy delegation in the hotel lobby, and for what you might ask; to conduct a driving tour of LA. That’s right; they wanted to drive around LA on the Sunday of the Academy Awards. So we got to spend all day driving down the Pacific Coast Highway and Sunset Boulevard. Actually it was quite pretty; a good day for a drive. The bad part was I was hoping to get together with a friend, Martha J. and do some dinner. That was kind of how the whole week went. I had to play baby sitter for the Pakistan delegation and never had a night to visit friends in the area. It was rather annoying and disappointing.

That’s not to say the whole week was a mess though. I did get to go to Universal Studios during the trip. The Program Manager put in a “culture day” where we took the delegation to see something that is American and let them sample our culture. Personally, I think it’s just an excuse for her to go site seeing, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth (as an aside, isn’t this expression from the Trojan Horse story, and wouldn’t the Trojans have been better off if they had taken a look inside? I’m just saying).

Universal was a lot of fun though I would have preferred some actual roller coasters. Pretty much all the rides are motion simulators which are fun, but you just can’t properly simulate pulling 3 G’s in a loop and 80 mph worth of wind in your hair. It just isn’t the same. I like the real thing when it comes to amusement parks. Presented now for your enjoyment are a few pictures from the day.

Me at Universal Studios.

He he he... Monkey butt.
That is a big guitar.

The Jurassic Jungle.

Donkey from Shrek. He's funny, but he can be an ass sometimes.

Say hello to my little friend.

Dude, can't you see I'm working over here.


After the Program Review was over on Friday I rolled down to San Diego for a couple days. It was nice to see all the old gang. I hope you all had fun; and for those of you I didn’t get to see, hopefully we can get together next time. Here is a picture from Friday Night.

The San Diego knuckleheads.

The biggest problem with coming down to San Diego was that my flight on Sunday back to Pakistan was out of LAX. This wasn’t really a big deal because it didn’t leave until 10:40 in the morning. The plan was to get up around 6, get on the road about 6:30 and drive back to LA which should take about two hours. With turning in my rental car I figured I would get to the airport about 8:45 which should give me plenty of time to get through the lines at the airport and make my flight with plenty of time. The problem with plans though is, as the book says, they “often go awry.” It is with this in mind then that I will tell you the tale of my trip back to Pakistan.

It started a little after 6. I had just woken up and was trying to get motivated to get in the shower when my cell phone started ringing. It was the nice folks at United who were calling to tell me that my 10:40 flight had been cancelled but they were able to book me on the 9:40 flight if I could get to the airport in time. I figured I could do it, but I had lost pretty much all of my buffer in the process. So I decided to forgo the shower, threw everything I had in my bags and took off for LA. As I was approaching Camp Pendleton traffic can to a stop and I was think oh no because the road to LA can turn into a parking lot sometimes with folks going back after the weekend. Fortunately for me (though not for someone else) there was just an auto accident and I was soon past it. I think I set a land speed record getting back to LA from that point on and thanks to GPS I made it to the rental car agency without getting lost. From there it was off to the airport. As the shuttle bus took us around the airport to the different terminals there were a couple that had security line completely out the door, so I was sweating all the way up to pulling in front of my terminal. Luckily the line was not that bad and I managed to get my boarding pass and make it through security in time. The flight from LA was fine with the exception that I think the lady sitting next to me had a cold and passed it on to me.

After a 5 hour layover in Washington DC where I got to use the Virgin Atlantic Airlines lounge (the first one I had been to in the States; pretty nice) we finally board the plane. Some of you may recall what the weather was like in Washington DC on Sunday March 2nd. For those of you who do not, let me tell you is was snowing like no bodies business. We ended up having to wait one and a half hours for the crews to come with the deice gear and another half hour for them to deice the aircraft. Add to that the slowest taxi evolution I have ever seen and you get our takeoff happening about two and a half hours late. I tried to sleep through most of the flight, but the cold I was catching made that difficult. We finally land in Doha, Qatar about 20 minutes before we are supposed to board my next flight to Islamabad. The whole ride on the bus to the terminal, I was again sweating (and not because of the fever). I ended up walking into the terminal, going through security, going straight to the ticket counter and getting right on the next flight. I barely had a chance to go to the bathroom. The good news is that I did at least make my flight. The funny thing is after chasing the clock all day and barely making it to my flights, the flight to Islamabad actually arrived 30 minutes early. This would have been good except I had to wait for my ride to get there. The one time I didn’t really want to be early was the one time I was.

Ultimately I did finally make even though I arrived with a cold. I am feeling a bit better though. Hopefully I will be better in a couple more days. Aside from that I am just trying to get settled back in to the job. I had over 2oo e-mails waiting for me when I got back and I am only now getting myself dug out from underneath them.

Well that should be enough for this installment. I do not have any trips for a bit so things should calm down some and hopefully settle into a groove. Until next time, remember if you can’t be good, be good at it.