
Monday, June 22, 2009
Happy Father's Day

Sunday, May 31, 2009
Ich Bin Ein Berliner (Yes, I Am A Jelly Doughnut)

The setting up of the appointment was simple enough and the next step in the process as it was explained to me was to call “Patient Movement” who would coordinate the travel and write the orders for me to go. When I gave them a call they said that since I’m Navy they couldn't do anything for me. The problem is who pays for the trip? In the Air Force, there is an accounting fund for this kind of thing, but the Navy being the cheap bastards that we are does not and instead the parent organization has to spend its own Temporary Duty money to send me which is something I was going to have a hard time selling since theoretically I could have gone to Bahrain to get it done. After much ranting and raving and going round and round in circles I finally found the right folks who had the authority to pay for the trip. Even better was my boss signed off on me leaving on Friday the 15th and coming back on the 22nd with my only appointment on the 18th.
This trip however, was not going to be without its issues. The first problem hit no sooner that the wheels of the airplane were sucked into the plane. I’m sitting in my seat fat, dumb and happy thinking about the journey and what I have to do and what I’m going to do when it hits me; I forgot my medical and dental records at the embassy. I’m going on a good deal trip to get a physical and I don’t have my records. Not one of my better moves. Also when you factor in the time changes and the trip length I have only the time that I’m on deck for a stopover in Kuwait to get this fixed. Fortunately I got a hold of one of the guys here and after some e-mail issues I authorize him to pick up my records and I talked to the medical guys and they said all I really need is my immunization records so my buddy Todd scaned and e-mailed that out to me.
The next issue was to get to Ramstein you fly into Frankfurt and drive there. If I was in the Air Force they would have paid for it, but again being the cheap Navy I had to get it. Not really a problem since I’m getting a free trip to Germany I didn’t mind spending some money. The issue was that being my birth month it also happened that my driver’s license expired on my birthday. So I’m trying to rent a car in a foreign country with an expired license. Fortunately I showed them my military ID and convinced them that since I’m stationed out of the US I don’t have to have a valid license and they let me have the car.
The first stop in Germany was actually Stuttgart (thank God for GPS). My friend Tracy who is stationed in Oberammergau was going to be in town for a bike race and my other friends Skid and Kendra are stationed in Stuttgart. So Tracy and I went out painted the town red on Friday night and toured the city on Saturday and we all got together for dinner on Saturday. The following photos are presented for your enjoyment but first you should remember that I can't read German so I had no way of figuring out what some of these things actually are.
Some dude on a horse.

Another strange experience was the feeling of getting intoxicated on two beers. I know I have lost a great deal of my tolerance but that was not right. Granted they were half litters and they were German beers but still. One of the tasks that I was given by my boss when she signed my orders was that I had to drink 5 liters of beer for her. I think I did that and then some but I was only following orders.
As you might expect from the land that created beer and who still has one of the oldest laws on record that says what is allowed to go beer, they have some very fine versions of the beverage. In that area of the country the big types are pils (pilsner), hefeweizen, and dunkl weizen which is a darker version of a hef. Normally I don’t really like dark beers, but this was nice because it cut down on the citrusy after taste some. I tried to sample as many beers as I could, including Dinkle Acker, San Wald, Schöfferhofer, König Ludwig, Grimbergen, Die Brauerei Zum Park, Binding and Krombacher.
I was also introduced to one of the local delicacies, doner kebab which very similar to a gyro or shawarma. Basically it is some kind of meat product (from what I saw either chicken or gyro meat) that is stuck on a spit, cooked, shaved into a pita or bun, covered in vegetation and some sort of sauce and served up for a few euros. It's not really haute cuisine, but at three in the morning after a night on the town it's right up there with pizza by the slice, 5 rolled tacos with cheese or Whataburger.
On Sunday I went up to Ramstein to get checked in and find out where everything was located on base. This was not however until after I managed to scrape the right rear fender and door of my rental car getting out of the parking garage. That’s going to cost me some money.
Ramstein is a much sleepier town than Stuttgart, but still nice. Even without my full medical records I was able to get my physical done, though the dental hygienist chastised me some for not bringing them. Tracy’s girlfriend Karen, who is a Navy nurse, is stationed in near-by Landstuhl showed me around some and took me out for dinner and drinks. Here is a bit of the Ramstein/Landstuhl area.
Wednesday I drove back to Frankfurt so I wouldn’t have to rush to make my flight on Thursday. I had a nice stroll around that city. Actually I saw more of it than I had planned as I managed to take a wrong turn got kind of lost. Fortunately I was able to back track and get back to the center of town. Here are some pictures of Frankfurt.
I figured if he was important enough for someone to make a statue of him I should take a picture.
Some classic German architecture.
One of the bridges over the River Main which flows through Frankfurt.
Frankfurt is one of the banking centers of Germany. And people think Americans idolize money.
One of the tasks I do as part of my job is called End Use Monitoring. What this entails is, specifically for the Harpoon Block II missiles that the US has sold Pakistan, is that I have to go visually check every missile by serial number and make sure that Pakistan hasn’t sold them on the black market or, more likely, given one to China so they can rip it apart and figure out how it works. So no sooner had I returned from Germany then I had to go down to Karachi to count missiles.
Karachi is the largest city in Pakistan and used to be the capital. It is located on the coast and is the major sea port and thus where the Pakistan Navy has most of its bases. Being on the coast also means it is substantially muggier than Islamabad and thus also has a lot more mosquitoes. The first two nights I was there I stayed at the Pakistan Navy Missile Complex where I did all the counting. The third day, after the monitoring was done, I relocated to the Marriot downtown, which is right next to the Consulate so it would be easier to get transportation around the city if needed (all the transportation in Karachi has to be coordinated by the Consulate; you can’t just hop into a taxi). You would think between the two locations, the Missile Complex and the Marriot, that the hotel would be better. The thing was that the mosquitoes at the Missile Complex were bigger, slower and dumber and only bit me a couple times; the one or two that got into my room at the Marriot though we like ninjas. I could only catch flashes of them and they beat the crap out of me. It’s definitely time to go invest in some insect repellant. I definitely need to get some before I go back down there next week for more missile counting.
Well that is about all the fun that has happened in the last couple weeks. As I expected this month flew by. It’s kind of hard to believe it’s almost June. I have now been in country five whole months; only 7 or so more to go. I hope everyone is doing well back home and I look forward to any and all comments or e-mails. If I get any trips heading back towards any of you I will let you know. Mom congratulations on your retirement. I hope you and Dad enjoy the time off you both deserve. Kaleigh congratulation on graduating high school, enjoy the summer and best of luck as you start college. For everyone take care of yourselves and drop me a line when you get a chance. Most of all be good, and if you can’t be good, be good at it.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
To start with I have been doing a bit more flying of late. Most of it has been just currency flights making sure we keep our qualifications up but those can be interesting as well. For example last Sunday I was flying with the Air Force Programs guy down at Lahore doing instrument approaches. We did our requisite two takeoff and landings (we have to do two takeoffs and landings every month; not every thirty days but every calender month - for the other pilots, yeah I know) and were headed back to Islamabad when we got a call on the satellite phone in the C-12 (yes we have a sat-phone primarily so if we are flying the Ambassador or Admiral and they need to talk to someone they can). This call though was for us. It was one of the other pilots back in Islamabad telling us there was a nasty thunderstorm/squall line sitting right on top of the airport. There were heavy rain, lightning and 50 mph winds. After looking at our fuel situation and the weather radar for a bit we exercised the “better part of valor” and rolled back to Lahore to gas up and let the storm blow over. After being on deck for about two hours we headed back and landed with no problems, but for a bit we thought we might be spending the night in Lahore.
For those of you that have or do fly for a living you know that getting stuck for weather is pretty much a part of the job description. I can’t think of a single pilot that hasn’t spent at least one night in a place he wasn’t planning to because the weather or aircraft didn’t cooperate. Sometimes these unexpected overnighters can actually be kind of fun, but I wasn’t really looking forward a potential night in Lahore. Fortunately it all worked out.
In addition to my flight to Lahore I got one to Bagram, Afghanistan this week as well. Bagram is close to Kabul which I have been to before and the flight is only about an hour or so. The cool part of visiting these places is that they have exchanges and US food spots. Kabul is NATO I think so it is a bi different, but Bagram is very much like being on a US base though it’s pretty small. There is however a Pizza Hut, Burger King, and Orange Julius among others. It was just nice to get American fast food again. Like I said it’s nice to visit, but I wouldn’t want to be stationed there. There wasn’t much to take pictures of at the base but I did take some new ones of the aircraft and while in the air. The following are presented for your viewing pleasure.
The Roof Of The World.
Your intrepid pilot.
If the guys in back really knew about who was flying they probably wouldn't be asleep.
I mentioned last time about the Jingle Trucks, but I was not happy with the pictures I had to properly illustrate what I was talking about. I therefore present the following examples of the art that is the Jingle Truck.
Sorry for the picture through the dirty window.
This is going down one of the major highways with two guys hanging on the back.
Another nice jingle taxi, but please notice there are four people on the motorcycle in front: the dad, a kid in front of him, the mom and her holding the baby (the record so far is five).
I know most of you have not been to Islamabad (though I think one or two of you may have) but one of the first things you notice when you come into the city from the airport is a giant memorial to Muhammad Ali Jinnah who, as I think I have mentioned, is considered the Father of Pakistan. I’ve been trying to get a good picture since I’ve been here and I finally have achieved that goal. As you can see it is a portrait of Jinnah with the motto of Pakistan “Unity, Faith Discipline” in English going one way and Urdu the other. I know it is probably very disrespectful but every time I see it I just think “It’s the Big Jinnah Head”. It is lit up at night so the next time I go down that road at night I will try to get a picture of that too.
The Big Jinnah Head: The Urdu side.
The Big Jinnah Head: The English side.
You may recall in one of my previous posts I mentioned a couple of Embassy events that got canceled. The American Club finally decided that the situation had cleared enough and went ahead and had their “Spring Fling”. Having already purchased our tickets before the delay and still not having anything better to do on a Saturday night the Marine Lieutenant Colonel in the office and I decided to grace the event with our presence. The evening was supposed to start with a social hour at 6 followed by dinner at 7 and general frivolity after that. So not wishing to miss any of the party we rolled in a bit after 6 only to find we and three others were the only ones there. I had heard that these things didn’t really get started until kind of late, but it was surprising that there was practically no one there for the first hour and a half of the event. Finally around 7:30 to 8 o’clock people started to filter in. I didn’t take many pictures but here is what I do have.
I can clean up kind of nice sometimes.
The two best looking guys in the place. Granted at the time we were pretty much the only two guys in the room, but that's beside the point.
It was somewhat under attended, I think due to the postponement, but I did have a nice conversation with the South Korean and Japanese Defense Attachés who I think were trying to pump me for information (which is the job of an attaché). I think I was sufficiently vague and non-committal and managed to get out of the conversation with my security clearance intact. I also, met a couple diplomats from the other Embassies. In particular I met a couple from the Canadian Embassy. They have invited me and the LTCOL over to the Canadian Club, which I wrote about before, for happy hour. Unfortunately it didn’t work out this week but hopefully it will next week. Everything I hear is the Canadian Club is much more social than the American Club and any opportunity to break up the routine is nice. I will let you know how it goes.
Finally before I say so long I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful birthday greetings this past week. It is really nice when you aren’t home with your family and friends to know that they are still thinking of you. I’m only sorry I will not be able to get back for Mom’s retirement and my niece Kaleigh’s graduation. Please understand I would be there if I could.
Well that is about all for now. Please feel free to send an e-mail or comment on this post and let me know what you think. Have fun in the Western Hemisphere and as always, if you can’t be good, be good at it.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Running For My Life


A close up of a smaller plant just in case you don't believe me.
I have commented pretty much since I came here that the people here drive like maniacs. I'm sure that you may be sick of hearing, so I decided to show you. The clip below was taken during my morning commute.
One thing you see as you drive around here are what are called "jingle trucks". The folks paint their delivery trucks and taxi trucks very elaborately. I have been told that the paint job is to get your attention, like advertising, and the images and text on the trucks are good luck charms. Considering what you just saw I think you can understand while they think they need luck on their side when driving.
The back of a Jingle Truck.
I know I have been kind of all over the place with this post, but like I mentioned there really hasn't been too much going on. Politics here would only make me mad if I talked about them so I'll stick what fun things I can come up with and this is pretty much it for now. So until next time, please feel free to shoot me an e-mail or post a comment here. And most of all be good. If you can't be good, be good at it.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Ain't No Party Like A Pakistan Party

"Anyone for tennis?" A blast from the past. '80s party 2004 with Dan "The Man"
Now in contrast the St. Patrick's Day Party at the Canadian Club was great. They had a live band that was playing great Irish music (real stuff and all the funny songs about Irishmen getting drunk). People were dancing and they actually looked like they knew what they were doing. The only drawback was the bar did not have Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, which I am sure most of you know is my adult beverage of choice. They did, however, have XXXX beer which is not Irish (it's Australian) but it does come from a country where they talk funny and drink a lot so I figured it was close enough.The last celebration was a little mutiny we through for our Admiral's Birthday. The funniest part was a skit where one of the guys acting as the Admiral and myself (as one of the Captains here) go to visit a member of the Pakistan Military. The funniest part is the other Navy Programs guy is originally from Pakistan and can still turn on the accent. When he came in and sat down to start the skit half the audience including the Ambassador and some of the guys in the office were wondering who this guy was. The whole thing had the group rolling. I just wish I had it on video. Not just because Raja and Al were hamming it up so much, but because it was also pretty close to right and I think you all would get a kick out of what it is like to talk with these guys about military needs and long term planning and so on. Here is a picture of the players. The others in the picture are the real Admiral and the Captain I was playing.

The camera had a double flash for red-eye reduction so the guy on the end thought the picture was taken and closed his eyes.
On a completely different note, some of you long time viewers may recall my trip to Bahrain back in January and the ordeal that has been trying to get the pictures I took there developed. With the help of my friend Katie L. I finally got the pictures and here they are.

The view out my window at the hotel.
The Center for Islamic Studies.
The Al Fateh Mosque.
Modern art (a fish I think).
Modern architecture. The towers in the distance have their own power generating windmills.
I'm sure that some of you are watching the news over here and cringing at some of the stories. I keep think of the old bumper sticker that reads "Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket". That could be the State of the Union address for Pakistan right now. I only hope that the Pakistan Government finally wakes up and sees the groups that are doing these things as the true threat instead of insisting on focusing on India and other conspiracy theories. But until then please be assured that I am being as careful and vigilant as I possibly can be. I am also keeping my head down and my butt covered. I have every intention of coming back in the same or better shape than when I came here. So until next, if you can't be good, be good at it.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Lockdown

The latest problem starts with the last ruler President Musharif (who was the Army Chief of Staff and took over in a coupe of Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif [remember this name]). In an attempt to maintain his power President Musharif fired the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court which lead to a great deal of popular up roar which eventually lead to Musharif stepping down. So who to take over? The Pakistanis actually had an election where candidate Benizer Bhutto (a former Prime Minister who had been fired due to allegations of corruption) was killed in a terrorist explosion. Who do you elect after the #1 candidate has been assassinated? That’s right her husband (who had served time in jail for corruption and has been nicknamed “Mr. 10%” for his embezzling).
One of Zudari’s campaign promises was that he would reinstate the Chief Justice who got fired, but after being in office for a year he still hadn’t done so, it is believed, because that Justice might re-open the corruption charges against him. The next stellar move is while the head of the military and the Prime Minister are out of the country, the Supreme Court (with a pro Zudari Chief Justice) excludes Nawaz Sharif (here is that name again) and his brother (who was the Chief Minister for the province of Punjab) from holding political office because of their past corruption charges. The Sharif brothers then threw their political weight behind the Lawyer’s Movement, who had been screaming for the reinstatement of the Chief Justice. The Lawyer’s Movement have been coordinating this Long March that was supposed to start in Lahore and Qweta and end up in Islamabad (where your friendly local arms dealer – me) lives. In an attempt to keep the Long March for gathering steam Zudari placed a lot of people under house arrest preemptively and basically shut down the city Sunday afternoon (this kind of tactic always works right?).
The major concern was that if the protest did get into the city and/or violence erupted (which was a very good possibility) the Army might have to step in to restore order and once that happened, they would probably just kick out Zudari for being stupid in letting it all get to that point. And what do we call it when the military kicks out the president? That’s right, a coupe, which we as a government tend to frown on.
The good news is Zudari flinched first in this game of political chicken and said he would restore the Chief Justice so Sharif basically turned off the Long March and the whole thing fizzled out. The other good news is since the whole country was about to implode, the embassy was shut down and we all got the last couple days off. Granted we were in lockdown mode and restricted to our houses, but I got to sleep in late on Sunday and did a lot of reading for the Joint Professional Military Education class I am taking.
The bad news is that because of this stupid power playing I had to miss the St. Patrick’s Day party that was going on at the British High Commission (they don’t have an embassy, they have a high commission because Pakistan used to be a colony or something like that). So far since I have been here I have missed two parties at the High Commission and two parties at the Marine House (where the Marine Security Guard lives). Granted I missed some of it because I was in the States which is infinitely better, but still. I am hoping nothing else goes wonky and I can make it to the Canadian Embassy for their St. Patrick’s Day celebration next weekend.
There was another celebration since the last time we talked. Most of you probably may not have known it but last Thursday was the Profit Mohammed’s birthday. We didn’t set up a tree or anything like that but the city was strung up with lights. Here are a couple of the pictures. Since it was at night and I was shooting form a distance they might be a bit blurry, but I had to stop by the side of the street to take the pictures and due to the force protection issues here I did not want to take too long to get the shots. I think you can get the point.
The only other thing to report is that I have grown what some might call a mustache (others might call it a caterpillar or some other derogatory name). I started it on the 1st of March and I think it has grown in nicely. I’m not saying it looks good, only that it is rather full. The reason behind this, like most facial hair growing experiments, is that there really isn’t much else to do so some of us decided to have a contest. These are the kinds of things we in the military do on deployment to pass the time. Don’t worry friends, I doubt that the ‘stache is going to make it beyond March. We will have to see what kind of reception it gets at the Canadian Club.
A shot of me, my mustache and the C-12.
A close up shot. Don't fear the 'stache.
Well like I said before all the shenanigans have fizzled out so it is back to work for me tomorrow. Thank you all for your e-mails and other comments (except the one making fun of my mustache). I hope your days have and continue to be calmer than the Pakistani political scene. Until next time, be good. And if you can’t be good, be good at it.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Your Tax Dollars At Work
I commented last time about how great the service on the flights was and how great the seats were since they fold completely flat, and while they were all that I still arrived in Washington DC completely jet lagged. Add to that the 5 hour layover in DC, and I was an absolute mess on the flight to LAX. I remember sitting down in my seat, some dude squawking on the PA, some acceleration and a sudden thump as we touched down in LA, but that is about it. It took me about 45 minutes to get my luggage and rental car. After the hour drive from LAX to Naval Base Ventura County at Port Hueneme it was about 3:30 in the morning on Sunday before I got to bed. All told that was about 26 hours of total travel. You should really try it sometime. Good times. Lots of fun.
Sunday around noon I met the program manager and the Pakistan Navy delegation in the hotel lobby, and for what you might ask; to conduct a driving tour of LA. That’s right; they wanted to drive around LA on the Sunday of the Academy Awards. So we got to spend all day driving down the Pacific Coast Highway and Sunset Boulevard. Actually it was quite pretty; a good day for a drive. The bad part was I was hoping to get together with a friend, Martha J. and do some dinner. That was kind of how the whole week went. I had to play baby sitter for the Pakistan delegation and never had a night to visit friends in the area. It was rather annoying and disappointing.
That’s not to say the whole week was a mess though. I did get to go to Universal Studios during the trip. The Program Manager put in a “culture day” where we took the delegation to see something that is American and let them sample our culture. Personally, I think it’s just an excuse for her to go site seeing, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth (as an aside, isn’t this expression from the Trojan Horse story, and wouldn’t the Trojans have been better off if they had taken a look inside? I’m just saying).
Universal was a lot of fun though I would have preferred some actual roller coasters. Pretty much all the rides are motion simulators which are fun, but you just can’t properly simulate pulling 3 G’s in a loop and 80 mph worth of wind in your hair. It just isn’t the same. I like the real thing when it comes to amusement parks. Presented now for your enjoyment are a few pictures from the day.
Me at Universal Studios.
He he he... Monkey butt. That is a big guitar.
Donkey from Shrek. He's funny, but he can be an ass sometimes.
Say hello to my little friend.
Dude, can't you see I'm working over here.
After the Program Review was over on Friday I rolled down to San Diego for a couple days. It was nice to see all the old gang. I hope you all had fun; and for those of you I didn’t get to see, hopefully we can get together next time. Here is a picture from Friday Night.
The San Diego knuckleheads.
The biggest problem with coming down to San Diego was that my flight on Sunday back to Pakistan was out of LAX. This wasn’t really a big deal because it didn’t leave until 10:40 in the morning. The plan was to get up around 6, get on the road about 6:30 and drive back to LA which should take about two hours. With turning in my rental car I figured I would get to the airport about 8:45 which should give me plenty of time to get through the lines at the airport and make my flight with plenty of time. The problem with plans though is, as the book says, they “often go awry.” It is with this in mind then that I will tell you the tale of my trip back to Pakistan.
It started a little after 6. I had just woken up and was trying to get motivated to get in the shower when my cell phone started ringing. It was the nice folks at United who were calling to tell me that my 10:40 flight had been cancelled but they were able to book me on the 9:40 flight if I could get to the airport in time. I figured I could do it, but I had lost pretty much all of my buffer in the process. So I decided to forgo the shower, threw everything I had in my bags and took off for LA. As I was approaching Camp Pendleton traffic can to a stop and I was think oh no because the road to LA can turn into a parking lot sometimes with folks going back after the weekend. Fortunately for me (though not for someone else) there was just an auto accident and I was soon past it. I think I set a land speed record getting back to LA from that point on and thanks to GPS I made it to the rental car agency without getting lost. From there it was off to the airport. As the shuttle bus took us around the airport to the different terminals there were a couple that had security line completely out the door, so I was sweating all the way up to pulling in front of my terminal. Luckily the line was not that bad and I managed to get my boarding pass and make it through security in time. The flight from LA was fine with the exception that I think the lady sitting next to me had a cold and passed it on to me.
After a 5 hour layover in Washington DC where I got to use the Virgin Atlantic Airlines lounge (the first one I had been to in the States; pretty nice) we finally board the plane. Some of you may recall what the weather was like in Washington DC on Sunday March 2nd. For those of you who do not, let me tell you is was snowing like no bodies business. We ended up having to wait one and a half hours for the crews to come with the deice gear and another half hour for them to deice the aircraft. Add to that the slowest taxi evolution I have ever seen and you get our takeoff happening about two and a half hours late. I tried to sleep through most of the flight, but the cold I was catching made that difficult. We finally land in Doha, Qatar about 20 minutes before we are supposed to board my next flight to Islamabad. The whole ride on the bus to the terminal, I was again sweating (and not because of the fever). I ended up walking into the terminal, going through security, going straight to the ticket counter and getting right on the next flight. I barely had a chance to go to the bathroom. The good news is that I did at least make my flight. The funny thing is after chasing the clock all day and barely making it to my flights, the flight to Islamabad actually arrived 30 minutes early. This would have been good except I had to wait for my ride to get there. The one time I didn’t really want to be early was the one time I was.
Ultimately I did finally make even though I arrived with a cold. I am feeling a bit better though. Hopefully I will be better in a couple more days. Aside from that I am just trying to get settled back in to the job. I had over 2oo e-mails waiting for me when I got back and I am only now getting myself dug out from underneath them.Well that should be enough for this installment. I do not have any trips for a bit so things should calm down some and hopefully settle into a groove. Until next time, remember if you can’t be good, be good at it.